Remembering You
by stingrae90
Summary: It wasn't so much that she enjoyed lying to people; it was just that it was the only way she had of remembering the cousin whose face she could barely recall.


**A/N: **Many, many, many thanks have to go to my awesome beta, Caelum, for this one. This Royal Siblings series started as a funny little fluffy ficlet and turned into a serious exploration of Zuko and Azula's relationship throughout the series. I never would have gotten it this far without all her well-thought out advice and suggestions. She especially helped me while I was beginning my exploration of Azulon's character for this fic. I've never written him before and needed all the help I could get with characterizing him in a realistic manner. So thanks Caelum.

Like always, this will make the most sense if you've read _Learning to Share, A Shoulder to Cry On, _and _Play Nice_ first. None of them are long individually and they're all interconnected. Especially as we get farther along and Zuko and Zuli grow up.

Oh, and unlike the previous three, _Remembering You_ will be a chaptered fic, and since Caelum pointed out not everyone has my sometimes random vocabulary - deportment is a synonym for manners. It's the fancy term that was used mostly by upper-class/noblemen in the Middle Ages/royalty, etc. I didn't want to drop that, but I want to make sure everyone knows what's going on in that part too.

Onward!

* * *

><p>"Father!"<p>

Iroh paused at the juncture of corridors that led to the War Room and turned to look down the hall. He smirked slightly as he saw the state of his nineteen-year-old son. Lu Ten was hopping towards him while attempting to pull on his right boot, his topknot was askew, and the golden hairpiece reserved for a prince in the direct line for the throne threatened to fall out.

"Really, Lu Ten," Iroh said sternly, erasing the smirk on his face before his son could see it. "The meeting begins in five minutes. You should already be prepared!"

Lu Ten scowled at his father, finally managing to get his boot on and reaching up to fix his topknot. "I wouldn't have been late if _you_ hadn't insisted on reviewing _every single _battle strategy Great-Grandfather and Grandfather developed to fight the Earth Kingdom." Amber eyes snapped annoyance at Iroh. "_In one night!"_

Iroh smiled proudly at his son, gaining a confused look from the young man. Lu Ten had managed much better than he had expected. When this same trick had been pulled on him by _his_ father, Iroh had slept through the war meeting the next morning, to his great embarrassment.

"…Father? What are you smiling about?" Lu Ten finally finished straightening his uniform and eyed his father with justified suspicion. "When you smile like that, it means you just managed to pull a trick on someone, and I'm getting this feeling _I_ was the target this time…"

"Oh, you were, my son," Iroh said airily, continuing on his walk to the War Room without bothering to make sure Lu Ten was following him. "Though it was more of a test than a trick."

"What?"

"Come come, my boy. You don't want to undo your exemplary score by stumbling now." Iroh turned a final corner and began the short trek down the hall to the War Room. Lu Ten growled as he followed his father.

"_What score?_ Stumble on _what?"_

Iroh smiled at his son. "You will see," he said, and then he disappeared into the War Room.

Lu Ten grumbled, casting an exasperated look at the ceiling in lieu of glaring at his now out-of-sight father. Deciding he'd get answers quicker by attending the meeting, he shook himself and stalked into the War Room, face smooth and back straight. He ignored the smothered snickers coming from the guards.

* * *

><p>Seated behind his customary wall of flames, Azulon waited somewhat impatiently for his son to appear. He firmly refused to allow himself the hope that his eldest grandson would show up as well. It was highly unlikely Lu Ten would have passed the test, as young as he was. <em>Iroh<em> had not passed his first time, and that had been when he was three years older than Lu Ten.

Beyond the wall of flames, his top generals and political advisors were moving through their typical pre-meeting posturing and jockeying as they bowed to each other, poisonous smiles thinly veiling disdain and rivalry. Azulon knew from frustrating experience that it would take them at least a half hour to get through the ceremony to their actual seats and the purpose for this meeting. Unless, of course, they were stopped beforehand.

His father had tried to explain the importance behind this tradition to him several times. Azulon had stopped listening after Sozin's fifth repetition of "the importance of establishing the order of precedence among those less powerful than the royal line." It was, in his opinion, pointless. The Fire Lord ruled the Fire Nation and his heirs learned the ways of power under his tutelage. Everyone else was to bow to the Royal Family as the rightful, Agni-blessed rulers of the Fire Nation. What more was there to know? These generals and advisors should be more concerned with fulfilling their duties by bringing this war to a satisfactory conclusion. Something they _could not_ do if they were more concerned with how many seats removed they were from the Fire Lord's position at the head of the room.

In truth, there were few ceremonies that Azulon had any patience for. To the Fire Lord, most ceremonies were simply excuses for over-confident nobles to exercise their pathetic notions of power, when it was obvious the only ones with _true_ power were those born into the line Agni himself had blessed with the divine right to rule. This…farce of a play unfolding in front of him, _yet again, _when he had told these same people several times that _he did not care _if their precious egos were bruised so long as they _did something to end this war…_

Closing his eyes, Azulon breathed deeply, the flames before him rising and falling in sync with his breath. The generals and advisors, who had still been in the throes of pointless ceremony just moments before, hastily took their places, correctly interpreting the flaring flames as a sign of temper.

_At least they've learned what _that _means, _Azulon mused, rolling his eyes, secure in the fact that no one could see him behind the flames. It was a rare meeting indeed where the flames were not present. The power and might the flames represented – and the control it took to maintain them without scorching impertinent generals or simpering nobles when he held court– was the one traditional convention he could stomach, and only because it was actually useful. Glares could be ignored with enough willpower, flames could not. The only times the flames were absent were for occasions when the line of ascension needed to be reaffirmed for the obnoxious nobles of the court. What was the point of having your heir present if he could not be seen?

Just as the last generals managed to find their seats, Azulon's eldest son strode into the room, face correctly bland, but there were faint lines around his eyes and mouth as if he were attempting to restrain a smile or a smirk. With his eldest son, sometimes it truly was difficult to tell the difference. Azulon wondered what had Iroh in such a good mood, and then he thought of Lu Ten. He felt his eyebrows rise. Surely the boy had not…?

Azulon's eldest grandson strode in at that precise moment, his only evidence of a bad temper the way he stalked in his father's wake, not quite managing to refrain from glaring at his father's back.

A rare smile curved Azulon's lips. Well, it seemed the boy was ready for more responsibility than they had given him credit for. Setting his face into a stern mask to keep the pride he felt in his grandson's accomplishment from his face, Azulon let the flames flare and die.

Lu Ten's open-mouthed shock was far more entertaining than the startled exclamations from the generals.

* * *

><p>Still attempting to stare a hole in the back of his father's head – unobtrusively, of course – Lu Ten barely noticed the ordered scramble the generals were performing to reach their places, their customary "ceremony of precedence" forgotten. So Grandfather had gotten ticked at someone again. Really, the generals should know by now that the surest way to anger the Fire Lord was to engage in pointless ceremony. Right now, Lu Ten was far more interested in planning a strategy for his revenge on his loving father, who had nearly made him miss this meeting with his insistence on reviewing old battles and tactics. Not that doing so was ever a <em>true <em>waste of time, but still. Iroh's choice of time for reviewing those tactics could have been _much _better. They were going to discuss a possible advance on Ba Sing Se today! The one city that had successfully resisted them since the start of the war! If anything was decided, it would be at this meeting and Father had almost made him miss it for some _trick!_

"_Though it was more a test than a trick."_

Iroh's voice floated through his son's head and Lu Ten slowed, brow starting to furrow in confusion. What had that meant? A test? For what? There hadn't been anything mentioned to him about an examination of any sort and –

The flames surrounding his grandfather's seat flared and suddenly died, revealing a stern-faced Fire Lord Azulon. Lu Ten felt his jaw drop. Since when did Grandfather just _let the flames die_ in a war meeting? That was the one symbol he actually _used_!

"Prince Lu Ten!" Azulon thundered, golden eyes glaring straight at the startled prince. Lu Ten snapped his jaw shut, suddenly remembering his manners. "Come before me!"

Lu Ten marched with military precision to stand in front of his grandfather, bowing formally. Out of the corner of his eyes, he noticed that his father had quietly assumed his seat to the right of Azulon.

"Fire Lord?"

Azulon stared at him impassively, and Lu Ten fought not to fidget. It had been a long time since he'd angered his grandfather, and no matter how hard he tried, Lu Ten _could not_ remember what he had done that would warrant a reprimand in the War Council, of all places.

"Your presence here this morning surprises me," Azulon continued, voice marginally quieter, though no less stern. "Did you or did you not review our Earth Kingdom battle tactics and strategies last night?"

Lu Ten managed to keep his confusion to a politically polite frown. It wouldn't help if he forgot all those deportment lessons on top of whatever he'd done to anger Grandfather. "Yes, Fire Lord. Prince Iroh and I reviewed the strategies and tactics you and Fire Lord Sozin utilized in the earliest Earth Kingdom victories."

One gray brow rose. "All of them?"

Lu Ten nodded firmly. "Yes, Fire Lord."

"And have you compiled a summary of useful past tactics and improvements for the ones that failed?"

"Yes, Fire Lord," Lu Ten said. "You will have a written copy of our review as soon as the scribes are finished transcribing our notes. Both Prince Iroh and I are prepared to give a verbal report if you so desire it."

Something Lu Ten would have sworn was a smile on anyone else started to creep across his grandfather's face. "And when did you retire to your chambers, Prince Lu Ten?"

"Um…" Lu Ten hesitated, not wanting to admit in front of the generals that he hadn't gotten more than two hours of sleep, but he'd been asked a direct question by the Fire Lord himself… "Two and a half hours ago, Fire Lord."

His father was snickering at him. Lu Ten promised himself he'd find a suitable way to repay him later. Maybe salt in his favorite tea…

"And yet you managed to accomplish something useful and relevant to today's subject matter, even with as little sleep as you managed to get."

Lu Ten blinked, jolted back to his current predicament. Now that he thought about it, Grandfather's questions seemed to indicate he had known what Iroh was up to. So Father had to have instigated that seemingly random review with the Fire Lord's approval. The timing _hadn't_ been random. It had to have had a purpose, but Lu Ten couldn't figure out _what _it was.

Azulon rose to his feet and descended the steps to stand in front of his grandson; the smile Lu Ten hadn't been sure he'd seen before was definitely there now. "I am proud of you, grandson," he said, clapping Lu Ten on the shoulder before turning to the stunned generals, who hadn't managed to collect their wits enough to stand yet. "All of you could benefit from the example my grandson has set for you today!" the Fire Lord snarled at them, smile gone as if it had never been. "He was up all night, had less than three hours of sleep and still has managed to compile an extensive review of our battle tactics and strategies. _Prince Lu Ten _hasn't wasted his time with pointless posturing! He has devoted his time to advancing our Great March of Civilization and winning this war!"

Most of the generals were trying not to cringe now. Iroh was smirking openly and Lu Ten was simply flabbergasted. It wasn't often his grandfather resorted to speeches to lecture his generals. He usually sent whoever was annoying him the most to the most unpleasant posting he could come up with – like sending General Qadir to oversee the raiding operations on the North Pole two years ago - as an example. Speeches were a form of ceremony, after all. Azulon continued his lecture, heedless of his grandson's confusion.

"This sort of dedication to our nation is _exactly_ what is required to finally bring this war to a satisfactory end! _This _sort of dedication is what you should model for your troops on a daily basis! And _this_," Azulon threw an arm back to point at Lu Ten, who hurriedly wiped the confusion off of his face, "is why Prince Lu Ten will command our army alongside his father in the coming siege of Ba Sing Se!"

It couldn't be helped, really. Lu Ten's jaw dropped for the second time that morning.

* * *

><p>When the meeting let out, Lu Ten cornered his father to demand some answers.<p>

"You _planned_ that!" he hissed. "The reviews, the debating, _everything!_ Just to put me in a position to…to…to what?"

Iroh smiled at his son. "It is my own variation of the test that has been used for over a hundred years, to determine the battle readiness of a prince in line to the throne. You, my son," the smile upgraded from pleased into proud, "have shown the ability to put your nation over your own comfort, the presence of mind to keep your cool in hostile conditions and the good sense not to protest what would have seemed an unfair public reprimand." Lu Ten shook his head mutely. Nothing his father ever did was simple, was it? There were always two or three other motives behind the one you could see. "You've shown yourself ready to take responsibility for your actions and so you are ready for the next step. Your own command."

Lu Ten felt a smile growing. "I'm still going to get you for springing this on me, but…I suppose I'll leave your tea in peace, since it turned out so well."

"My tea! You scoundrel!" Iroh feigned shock. "That my own son would use _tea_ as a means of revenge…!"

"Shows he's your son, all through," a new voice interrupted. Lu Ten glanced over his father's shoulder to see his uncle striding towards them, the smile on his face somewhere between a grimace and a true welcoming expression. "You should be proud, Lu Ten." The pained smile turned into a true smirk. "Your father failed his first test."

"Ozai!" Iroh protested while Lu Ten laughed. "Really, he didn't need to know that!"

"I don't know," Lu Ten said, sharing a grin with his uncle. "I feel enlightened by my uncle's counsel."

Iroh rolled his eyes. "_Agni,_ the two of you are entirely too much alike, sometimes."

Ozai shrugged, dismissing the topic. "I have to report to Father about those rebellions in our northern Earth Kingdom colonies, but first," he turned to Lu Ten, expression exasperated. "_You_ need to calm your cousin down."

"Me?" the newly appointed commander repeated, confused yet again. "Why me?" He blinked and added another question. "And which cousin? Zuko or Zuli?"

Ozai rolled his eyes. "Azula, who else? Zuko's far too excited that his favorite cousin -" both uncle and nephew ignored Iroh's coughed mutter of _only cousin_ "-is now a commander of our army to really understand that you'll be leaving in a week. Azula, however, is devastated that you'll be gone for Agni-knows-how-long and won't be consoled by anyone."

Lu Ten sighed. Sometimes, having cousins over a decade younger than he was could be a pain. But still, Zuli was six. A siege was a long, drawn-out event, and there was no telling when they'd be back. A year, at the very least. That was practically an eternity in little kid time.

"I'll go see her. Which part of the gardens is she in?" Azula usually retreated to the gardens when she was upset. Something about the plants being friendlier than people were. Lu Ten had never understood that, and he honestly hadn't tried.

Ozai waved a hand over his shoulder as he entered the War Room. "By her mother's fire lilies."

Lu Ten muttered a thank you and left, wishing for at least the hundredth time that his cousins were a little older so he could use logic to get them over their snits.

* * *

><p>Azula had been sulking in a little-used corner of the palace gardens for well over an hour when Lu Ten found her. The six-year-old princess pointedly ignored her cousin, determinedly staring at the fire lilies growing in a bunch in front of her.<p>

"Azula, there you are. Don't you have better things to do than terrify innocent fire lilies?"

The princess' scowl deepened. She _wasn't_ on speaking terms with Lu Ten at the moment. Not when he was being so infuriatingly _calm_ about all the changes that were coming for the Fire Nation Royal Family.

"Pouting won't change reality, Azula."

Pfft. Just what did he know anyway? Princesses didn't _pout._

"Does this mean you aren't going to come see me and Dad off?"

Moisture gathered at the corners of Azula's eyes, but she refused to let the tears fall. So what if her uncle and cousin were leaving her? So what if they were blithely running off to fight some random Earth Kingdom army outside Ba Sing Se? It wasn't like she cared.

But her shoulders were shaking with the effort to keep her composure and Lu Ten wasn't fooled. The elder of the two cousins smiled gently at the young girl and gathered her into a warm embrace.

"Come on, Zuli, it's alright to be sad. I'll miss you too."

Firmly held in the familiar embrace of her only cousin, Azula felt her resolve to say nothing to him until he left weakening. But it wasn't until she felt him press a kiss to the top of her head that said resolve shattered.

Suddenly crying and hating herself for showing so much weakness, Azula clung to Lu Ten, who simply held her and let her cry, gently rocking back and forth, humming a wordless, soothing tune.

He still had to leave with the army in a week, but for now, he wasn't going anywhere and Azula knew she had to content herself with that.

* * *

><p>The black and red banners bearing the symbol of the Fire Nation snapped in a brisk wind. Last minute supplies were hastily loaded under the disapproving eye of the army's quartermaster, while Iroh shared a smirk with his brother.<p>

Ozai sneered. "You'll have to make sure to keep a tight control on the army, Iroh. If _this-_" a dismissive wave took in the quartermaster and the cringing new recruits who had been in charge of the initial loading, "is any example of how the army will behave while on campaign."

Iroh simply shook his head, smirk changing to an outright grin. "Oh, don't worry, Ozai. If every man in this army isn't in shape to take Ba Sing Se by the time we reach the Earth Kingdom, they'll answer directly to _me."_

Ozai simply nodded, as he was prevented from indulging in a snort of derision by the fact that they were in full view of several servants and various officers waiting for General Iroh to board first. "Just see that they obey you."

"And why wouldn't they?" Iroh's eyes glinted dangerously and a small tongue of flame escaped from his mouth. "I'm the famed Dragon of the West, remember?"

Something akin to envy flashed through Ozai's expression before he shook his head, in control of his emotions again. "As if you let anyone forget you slew the last of the dragons."

Iroh was about to retort when his son's voice interrupted them. "If all you two are going to do is poke at each other's egos, I'm going to say goodbye to Zuko and Zuli one more time."

"Really," Ursa added, casting a disapproving look upon her husband and brother-in-law, who both had the good grace to look sheepish. "You two won't see each other for at least a year and a half. Can't you be nicer to each other?" Lu Ten smothered a snicker.

"I don't think they can, Aunt Ursa. It's genetically wired into them to bicker."

"Then thank Agni your cousins haven't inherited that trait." A warm, teasing smile lit her face as she embraced her nephew one last time. "And that it skipped you as well. Though maybe that's just because you weren't gifted with a sibling, as Zuko was."

Lu Ten squawked and half-heartedly tried to pull out of his aunt's hold while his father and uncle determinedly did not laugh. "Hey! Zuko and Zuli might as well be my siblings, they've both been following me since they could walk."

Ozai and Iroh both gave into laughter at this point. Iroh shot a teasing grin to his only son. "Not quite true. Azula has been following you around since she mastered the art of the baby crawl. Zuko's the one who waited until he could walk."

Lu Ten brushed imaginary dust off of his armor. "Well, since I'm obviously not wanted here, I'm going to go where I am," he declared with false haughtiness, stalking off towards his cousins. It was too bad Grandfather had been delayed by Fire Sage Mazin. Apparently, the fleet needed to be endorsed by the Fire Sages as well as by the Fire Lord. It was _tradition_. Lu Ten rolled his eyes. As if that argument had ever worked with Grandfather before. All that had come of it was that Lu Ten's father and uncle could now bicker and poke at each other's egos without their father there to tell them to stop it.

"Oh, nephew, I never knew you loved to spend so much time in the company of those over a decade younger than you. I'll keep that in mind for the next time they drive their governess to tears after you get back."

Lu Ten paused long enough to make a face at his uncle over his shoulder, before he deliberately resumed his stroll towards his cousins, who were both standing farther back and looking slightly forlorn.

Ozai and Ursa laughed while Iroh called a parting shot after his son, "Do tell them I'd like to say goodbye again as well, would you? There's a good boy."

Lu Ten wondered if everyone's elders were like this, or if he was just privileged to have the most irritating of the lot. Thank goodness Zuko and Zuli were turning out normally.

* * *

><p>Standing straight and proud by her brother, face mostly impassive, Azula stared into the middle distance, trying to project an image of boredom. How did Mai make it look so easy?<p>

"You'll write, won't you?" Zuko pleaded with Lu Ten as their cousin came to say one last farewell to his youngest relatives. "I want to hear all about your victories!"

Lu Ten laughed while Azula successfully suppressed the urge to roll her eyes at her older brother. Really, as if any army headed by Uncle and Lu Ten could do anything _but _win. Uncle was the Dragon of the West, and Lu Ten had been _personally _trained by Grandfather and Uncle Iroh. Ba Sing Se didn't stand a chance.

"Of course, Zuko. I'll make it a part of my after-battle routine, huh?"

Zuko's excited yell was more than enough of an answer. Since all eyes were briefly on her brother, Azula _did_ allow herself the luxury of an eye roll this time. She loved her brother dearly, but he could be incredibly _childish_ sometimes. They were members of the Royal Family. Such open displays of emotion were hardly proper in public.

"I'll still miss you though, Lu Ten," Zuko was saying as Azula started paying attention to the farewell again.

"And I'll miss you. You have to remember to write to _me_ too, okay? I'll need something to look forward to besides victory!"

"Of course! We'll all write to you and Uncle."

Azula watched as Lu Ten smiled and claimed a hug from Zuko, before pushing him towards Uncle Iroh and her parents. "Go on, Zuko. I know Dad wants to say goodbye to you again before we get on the ship."

"Agni's blessings on your journey," Zuko said, suddenly somber as the reality of the imminent departure seemed to _finally _penetrate his brain. Azula felt a slight smirk on her face and quickly blanked her expression again as her brother and her cousin bowed to each other.

"And on your training, cousin," Lu Ten said, still smiling. "Now move it, soldier!" he barked, and Zuko laughed as he ran towards the small group waiting at the base of the boarding ramp.

Azula knew Lu Ten was going to want to say goodbye to her again too, but she also knew she couldn't hold her composure if he said goodbye to her the same way he'd done with Zuko. In an attempt to keep from breaking down again, she spoke first.

"I shall pray for Agni's blessings on your campaigns, as well as your journey, cousin," she said, falling back on the formal manners Mom had finally admitted last year she was old enough to learn. Lu Ten paused a moment, before an approving expression settled across his face.

"Then I know we shall prevail, with your prayers spurring us on, cousin," he returned, stance settling into a relaxed guard position. Azula was relieved. She could do a goodbye like this. She just needed to maintain the distance between them. "I hope you will find time to write to me. I should like to hear of your continued progress in your training."

"If you wish it, then of course, cousin. It shall be no trouble at all."

Lu Ten stood for a moment in silence, before suddenly he moved, kneeling in front of her and gripping her shoulders. "I do, Azula," he said, dropping out of the more formal language court manners required. "And there aren't words for how proud I am of what you've already accomplished in your training." He pulled her suddenly tense body into a hug and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "You're getting better at misdirection, Zuli, but I'm still better," he whispered into her hair. Azula's shoulders slumped a bit. She'd hoped to fool him completely. "I love you, too, and I promise to work as hard as I can to conquer the Earth Kingdom, so Dad and I can come home soon." He pulled back slightly. Azula blinked rapidly to clear the tears from her eyes. Looking up to her cousin's warm golden gaze, the six-year-old managed a steady smile.

"Then I know you're coming home soon."

Lu Ten smiled at her one last time and standing, he made a grand sweeping gesture. "After you, my lady. Father wants to say goodbye to you too."

Azula giggled at her cousin's antics and managed to get through the rest of the farewells without so much as one tear falling from her eyes.

* * *

><p>Standing on the dock with her remaining family, watching the armada sail for the Earth Kingdom and victory, Azula let a small, satisfied smile play around her mouth as she recalled her cousin's words from earlier.<p>

"_You're getting better at misdirection, Zuli…"_

_I'll be better than you someday. Watch. When you return, I'll be able to fool even _you.

* * *

><p><strong>AN2: **Caelum pointed out that Iroh, Ozai, Ursa and Lu Ten are all laughing and joking around while Azula states that "such open displays of emotion were hardly proper in public." So I figured an explanation was due. Azula's six. She sees the world as black and white, while her elders have seen more of the shades of grey possible and present in the real world. For Azula, when Daddy says open displays of emotion aren't proper, that means ANY emotions.

However, Daddy also told her they have to show support for her uncle and cousin, because their campaign is entirely new and no one's tried to take Ba Sing Se before. So she's a bit confused as to what she IS allowed to show, emotion-wise, in this place and time. The adults get that positive displays of emotion - the genuine goodbyes in front of the loading ships, where the regular soldiers have a chance to see it - convey the Royal Family's certainty in the success of the mission. Azula does not get this. Not yet. She'll learn. She's only six, after all.

Also, I figured any nation that's been at war as long as the Fire Nation has been needs a way to tell if the up-and-coming members of their own house are battle-ready outside of physical and bending prowess. Thus, the test Lu undergoes.

**Preview of Chapter 2:** In which Azula adjusts to the absence of her favorite cousin by fulfilling her promise and letters arrive for the rest of the family.


End file.
